Increase your hand should you’ve ever been informed you’re “an excessive amount of.” Too loud. Too emotional. Too passionate. Too bold. Too… you.
For lots of girls, that’s the cue to start out shrinking. We tone down our voice, dim our fiery nature, and sand down the sharp, lovely edges that make us who we’re—all within the determined hope of being accepted. We study to censor our jokes, cover our massive desires, and put a lid on our emotions as a result of we’re afraid our real selves might be rejected.
However right here’s the tough-love, liberating fact: the fixed effort to make your self smaller is exhausting … AND it’s additionally the #1 motive you are feeling so drained and caught in less-than-stellar relationships.
Leaning into your genuine self and proudly proudly owning your “too much-ness” is definitely your secret weapon. It’s the one solution to construct the high-quality connections you deserve—and eventually dial down your stress for good.
The Downside With Shrinking Your self
Continually enhancing your self to be extra palatable is a one-way ticket to burnout. On high of holding again the true you, you’re expending a large quantity of psychological and emotional vitality to take action.
Each time you chunk your tongue, faux a joke was funnier than it was, or swallow your true emotions, you’re making a withdrawal out of your treasured vitality reserves.
This creates a quiet, insidious type of stress that lives simply beneath the floor, leaving you anxious and unfulfilled—even once you’re surrounded by folks.
The reality? You’re primarily in a relationship with a model of you that doesn’t even exist, and the folks round you’re responding to that pretend model. That, my buddy, is a recipe for deep loneliness.
Your “Too A lot-ness” Is a Relationship Filter
If you cease apologizing to your enthusiasm, ardour, or massive, typically messy emotions, one thing unimaginable occurs: you begin attracting your soulmate relationships.
Friendships
This implies discovering soul-sisters who don’t simply tolerate your wild concepts—they’re those who say, “YES! And what if we did this subsequent?!” They cheer to your ambition as a substitute of seeing it as a risk. These friendships go deeper than surface-level chatter since you’re totally seen and understood with out judgment.
Partnerships
In love, this implies discovering a associate who celebrates your quirks and loves you for the individual you’re—not the individual you faux to be. The best associate will encourage your boldest desires and by no means ask you to shrink for his or her consolation. (Bonus: they’ll match your bizarre.)
Communities
In your bigger neighborhood, it means surrounding your self with individuals who get it. Whether or not it’s your exercise group, guide membership, or a web-based house, you’ll discover circles the place your concepts are met with curiosity and pleasure, not well mannered nods and fast topic adjustments.
If you present up as your full, unapologetic self, you’re sending a transparent sign: That is who I’m. Take it or go away it. And the individuals who take it? They’re your folks. Those who go away? They had been by no means meant for you anyway—and also you simply saved your self a ton of wasted time and vitality.
Why Proudly owning Your Genuine Self Reduces Stress
Embracing your “too much-ness” can also be one of the crucial highly effective types of self-care. It’s a direct path to much less stress and extra peace.
If you’re not policing each phrase you say or emotion you are feeling, you unencumber large quantities of psychological bandwidth.
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As a substitute of agonizing over whether or not it’s best to ship your buddy that nerdy article you really liked—you simply ship it, they usually get excited too.
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As a substitute of hiding your massive enterprise thought—you share it, and out of the blue the best connection seems.
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As a substitute of swallowing your frustration in a relationship—you talk your wants, and your associate rises to satisfy you.
That is what dwelling authentically appears like. It’s radical self-trust—and it not solely strengthens your relationships, it strengthens your relationship with your self.
Cease Shrinking, Begin Thriving
Being “an excessive amount of” will not be a flaw—it’s proof that you’ve a strong gentle to share with the world. Hiding it solely creates extra stress and loneliness.
Your distinctive mix of enthusiasm, empathy, and ambition is the very factor that may entice your folks.
So cease shrinking. Begin shining. And watch each your relationships and your peace of thoughts flourish.
What’s one a part of your self you’ve been holding again that you just’re able to lastly share with the world? – Alex
Desire a Secure House to Be Absolutely You?
For those who’re prepared to satisfy your soul household TODAY and begin practising full expression in a secure teaching house, my Unfuckwittable Membership is the proper place. There’s even a whole module on this very matter—so you possibly can apply it in actual life and really feel grounded whilst you do it. Be taught extra and be part of our highly effective neighborhood right here.
