From the mysterious East, now comes Carrnac the Magnificent along with his infallible prognostications for the New 12 months.
The envelopes, please:
Karen Learn can be discovered not responsible (for a second time) of the homicide of John O’Keefe.
In contrast to the primary trial, all Canton police-related scandals will now be blamed on former police chief Kenny Berkowitz, and for an excellent motive.
He died on Dec. 29, and thus can not defend himself — it’s an historic custom in prison conspiracies, pointing the finger on the useless man within the gang, like Winter Hill did with George Kaufman when he stopped coming down for breakfast in 1995.
The SJC will rule that state auditor Diana DiZoglio just isn’t allowed to conduct an embarrassing audit of the legislature, the judges basing their determination on the soundest of authorized rules:
The legislature may give them a pay elevate, however the state auditor can’t.
Rachael Rollins, the disgraced ex-US lawyer who lied to the feds on her approach out, is out of the blue in her former workers’ crosshairs after she loses her DEI safety in 19 days.
Proving as soon as once more the knowledge of the outdated noticed: Be good to folks you meet on the best way up since you’re going to run into them once more on the best way down.
Charlie Baker is not going to run for the US Senate seat in Massachusetts, for 3 million superb causes, all of which have George Washington’s portrait on them.
Over-under on what number of Massachusetts state reps can be indicted this 12 months: two.
Take the beneath.
Over-under on what number of members of the Biden Crime Household, together with associates like Anthony Fauci and Liz Cheney, can be pardoned earlier than Jan. 20: 5.
Take the over.
Droughts, floods, excessive warmth, excessive chilly, extra hurricanes, fewer hurricanes, volcanos, tidal waves — these are only a few of the pure occasions that regime-controlled media will blame on international warming in 2025.
DEI will start to D-I-E.
NPR — Nationwide Panhandler Radio — can be shortly defunded, and all the identical individuals who have at all times advised us that federal funds present solely a fraction of the stations’ obscenely bloated funds will now say that the cutbacks will devastate Stalinist programming throughout the nation.
By spring, GBH may have introduced again A) tote baggage, B) umbrellas and C) the letter “W.”
None of it can do any good, and Jim Braude must scrape by on his miserly $344,850-a-year wage (down from $464,031).
“Embattled” Boston Metropolis Councilor Tania Fernandes Anderson can be each A) reelected and B) convicted of a number of felonies.
At sentencing, the corrupt former illegal-alien Muslim grifter from Africa will demand conjugal visits together with her husband, imprisoned first-degree assassin Tanzerious Anderson.
Of all of the federal workers who’re threatening to stop if Trump orders them to return to the workplace after their five-year COVID holidays, precisely 31 will truly go away their phony-baloney jobs.
Gov. Maura Healey will nominate extra new judges who use “they/them” pronouns — along with the one already pending which you hadn’t heard something about till simply now, however who can be lionized by state-run media as a “first” as soon as “their” nomination slides via with zero publicity later this month.
Talking of which, ex-Sen. Dean Tran can be sentenced to jail for welfare fraud, after realizing too late that he might have prevented jail time if solely he had modified his identify from “Tran” to “Trans.”
The variety of State Police troopers with surname “Kent” will lower by greater than 50 % this 12 months.
Michael “Meatball” Morrissey, the shady district lawyer of Norfolk County, broadcasts in December that after 50 years of gainful unemployment on the public trough, he gained’t be looking for one other 4 years to lick the plate.
Meatball will declare he plans to spend extra time along with his household, together with “the Captain” — Capt. Morgan.
The Boston Globe will disable the feedback on each single sob story concerning the tragic plight of Haitian illegals who flop into Massachusetts after which don’t get practically as a lot welfare as they deserve as a result of… one thing.
After Jan. 20, Joe Biden will make fewer public appearances than Jimmy Carter.
Michelle Wu is reelected as mayor, a lot to the jubilation of the 17 blow-in drifters from New York with goatees who use the town’s bike lanes.
The FBI’s alleged investigation into who left the pipe bombs on the RNC and the DNC will drag into its fifth 12 months.
Ditto, the probes courting from 2022 into who despatched the “nameless” racist emails at UMass, and who leaked the Supreme Court docket determination repealing Roe v. Wade.
Authorities in all three circumstances will say they proceed to be “baffled” — wink wink nudge nudge.
Following the NFL draft in April, Boston sportswriters will unanimously declare that the Pats simply hauled within the best assortment of gridiron expertise because the Steelers’ Class of 1974.
In November, those self same shills will all catalogue the negligible contributions of a lot of the 2025 picks, and denounce the entrance workplace for yet one more wasted 12 months.
The no-whites-need-apply Kwaanza occasion for “electeds of coloration” can be introduced again after the municipal elections, after which a lot of the 2023 invitees will both be reelected, in jail, have paid their fines to the State Ethics Fee, or the entire above.
Not one of the above predictions are assured, however right here is one that’s.
All via the subsequent three hundred and sixty five days, listed here are phrases you’ll by no means hear, not as soon as, even in Brookline:
“You realize, I actually miss Joe Biden. These had been the great outdated days!”
Completely happy New 12 months!
Employees Picture By Stuart Cahill/Boston Herald
Councilor Tania Fernandes Anderson returns for the ultimate assembly of the Boston Metropolis Council after her arrest on federal prices on Dec. 11. (Employees Picture By Stuart Cahill/Boston Herald)
