Kinky Cambridge Metropolis Councilor Paul Toner (rhymes with boner) should be asking himself a number of questions this weekend, however one above all:
Is it potential that being lugged with a prostitute can turn into a resume enhancer for a male Democrat politician in Massachusetts?
Most assuredly, however solely underneath one situation.
The hooker should be a male.
In any other case, it’s simply too… unseemly for the Lovely Individuals who now management each lever of energy within the state Democratic celebration.
From Have a good time Variety to Have a good time Perversity — the Democrat celebration has come a great distance. The love that after dared not converse its identify now can’t shut up.
Contemplate ex-Rep. Barney Frank. He was going nowhere in Congress till he connected with an overaged catamite named “Scorching Backside.”
Barney was so smitten along with his pay-to-play hire boy that he allowed Scorching Backside to arrange a brothel in Frank’s personal basement residence on Capitol Hill.
Then there was the Democrat congressman from the abutting district, Gerry Studds. He appreciated ‘em younger, even youthful than Scorching Backside, which is why he received run out of John Kerry’s previous prep college. Grasp Studds insisted on holding his dorm conferences at St. Paul’s College along with his teenaged male fees… within the nude.
Even at St. Paul’s, that appeared just a little excessive.
After his election to the Home, Studds took an under-age web page to Europe, received the lad drunk and buggered him. That proud second actually made Studds’ profession in Congress! The Democrats even renamed 842 sq. miles of the Atlantic Ocean after the serial pederast.
Do you start to grasp Toner’s downside? He was with a lady! Native Democrats will tolerate loads nowadays, however open heterosexuality is pushing the envelope.
In Cambridge, some tolerant Democrats have charitably adopted a don’t-ask-don’t-tell coverage about breeders. You possibly can declare you will have a cat, they usually could allow you to “move.”
For example, the black lesbian mayor of Cambridge, who succeeded the black homosexual mayor, appears to have had no touch upon Toner’s outing as a heterosexual.
Exterior the courthouse on Friday, Toner’s lawyer made a quick assertion about his pervert consumer.
“He’s a person of excessive character,” stated Tim Flaherty, who ought to know one thing about character. He himself was indicted on federal witness-tampering fees a decade in the past. (He pled responsible to lesser fees in state courtroom as a result of… Democrats.)
Plus, Tim is the son of former state Home Speaker Good Time Charlie Flaherty, convicted felon (revenue tax evasion), the primary of three consecutive Massachusetts Home audio system to be convicted of federal crimes (with a fourth listed as an unindicted coconspirator).
However to outlive within the Sodom & Gomorrah that’s Cambridge 2025, you want greater than a crooked lawyer from a crooked household of hack pols.
Toner has executed his finest to beat his racial, gender and sophistication handicaps. His spouse in fact retained her maiden identify (Susan Connelly). He doesn’t precisely promote that he was born right here and went to Catholic college — each virtually computerized disqualifications for elective workplace now.
Toner does have one indeniable plus on his resume. He was once president of what has turn into probably the most highly effective union in Massachusetts, the Mass. Lecturers Affiliation (MTA).
The MTA mainly runs the state now. In successive elections, it has used its bottomless marketing campaign warfare chest to first impose a graduated revenue tax on the state (guaranteeing it a billion {dollars} a 12 months in perpetuity from individuals who work for a residing, for an funding of perhaps $20 million).
Then final 12 months the MTA spent one other $16 million to purchase 2 million votes in a referendum to abolish standardized testing within the public colleges. In different phrases, MTA members now haven’t any accountability, and achievement ranges within the colleges are plummeting, however who cares? Definitely not the MTA.
However maybe the MTA’s best achievement in current Democrat politics was its virulently Jew-hating web site, which even a Democrat legislator just lately described as “virulently anti-Semitic.”
Sadly, by the point the MTA had morphed into this sinister Soros-like enterprise, Toner had moved on. He was tip-toeing via the tulips with “Tulip,” the frequent nightwalker the cops charged him with paying $340 for “girlfriend experiences.”
It’s not like Toner is the primary Cambridge metropolis councilor to get jammed up. One did a stretch for financial institution fraud. One other one let her cocaine-dealing thug son use her automotive earlier than the child went to federal jail for pimping. (However I suppose that was okay as a result of he was a POC — a pimp of shade.)
Anyway, Cambridge named a public college after that metropolis councilor whose son was a pimp. I don’t see that honorific within the playing cards for Councilor Toner.
A few of my radio listeners on Friday have been confused about this newest Democrat hack in a scandal. One requested me if he was “the perv within the Prius.” No, I defined, that was the sicko solon in Arlington, the following city over — ex-Sen. Jim Marzilli.
Then somebody prompt that Toner simply cite the standard bad-ice-cube protection? Nah, I stated. That too has already been employed in Cambridge. Bear in mind ex-Sen. Anthony Galluccio — a/okay/a “Jail-uccio?”
One other former mayor of Cambridge, Jail-uccio had a thirst so nice it could forged a shadow. After a number of OUIs, he was locked up on home arrest, topic to periodic alcohol testing.
Instantly the senator was busted once more. His excuse was that his breathalyzer take a look at had been contaminated by the alcohol within the tooth paste he was utilizing.
We by no means might work out if Jail-uccio had been brushing his enamel with Michelob Extremely Brite, or Harvey’s Bristol Gleam, or perhaps Arm and Hammered. No matter, he by no means had the infected-toothpaste downside once more after he was sentenced to the Billerica Home of Correction.
So that you see, all the great alibis have already been taken. I believe Toner could have a tough time getting reelected within the fall. He faces a stiff combat.
On his resume, he lists as soon as being a member of Charlie Baker’s “Schooling Transition Committee.” If he desires to remain in politics in Cambridge, it might be time for Toner to announce one other… transition, if you already know what I imply.
I known as his workplace at Cambridge Metropolis Corridor yesterday and received his voicemail. I informed him to name me again if he wished to me to incorporate a quote about his sordid adventures tip-toeing via the tulips with Tulip.
When the cellphone didn’t ring, I knew it was Councilor Boner, er Toner.
One way or the other I don’t suppose this story goes to have a contented ending.
Initially Revealed:
