Is it too late to get a translator for MSP Sgt. Yuriy Bukhenik earlier than he resumes his testimony within the Karen Learn homicide trial Monday?
On Friday, the thuggish $211,080-a-year State Police “detective” lastly revealed the explanation for his abysmal efficiency, each on the witness stand and as a crack sleuth on the MSP’s elite Rubber Ducky Element.
Underneath oath, the Ukrainian drifter admitted that English shouldn’t be his second, however his third language. Bukhenik hails from the previous Soviet Union, lived there till the age of 9. Apparently his assimilation into civilized society has been considerably lower than full.
You may take the boy out of the USSR, however you possibly can’t take the USSR out of the boy.
Am I proper, Comrade Bukhenik?
The reformed Pink made this confession Friday morning. In his customary pidgin English, he had been telling protection legal professional Alan Jackson about his “theories” of the Learn persecution, er prosecution.
Bukhenik had talked about his “theories” not less than twice, so Jackson didn’t assume it was a stretch to ask Bukhenik a easy query:
“You understand what the phrase ‘principle’ means?”
To which Yuriy replied:
“I’m sorry, English is sort of a third language for me. So when you can deliver up the Webster’s dictionary I can learn it out.”
Jackson did a double take.
“You need me to tug up the Webster’s dictionary to outline a phrase you utilized in a solution about 40 seconds in the past? ‘We have been working off a principle.’ Quote unquote. You mentioned it, not me!”
For the file, right here is among the occasions Comrade Bukhenik used the phrase in his testimony, lower than a minute earlier than his tenuous grasp of the English language failed him but once more.
All dialogue assured verbatim:
“Utilizin’ dat data wit’ de proof at dat level dat we had was a damaged cocktail glass so the idea can be why is the cocktail glass damaged? As a result of it got here into contact wit’ da sufferer —”
To date it’s been a catastrophic cross-examination for Bukhenik. And Jackson hasn’t even began asking him but concerning the worst miscarriages of justice within the Commonwealth’s ongoing frame-up.
However somebody should function the autumn man for DA Meatball Morrissey’s calamitous overreach. Yuriy drew the quick straw this time, following within the footsteps of his ex-partner, Trooper Michael Proctor.
After the primary trial, Proctor was fired from the State Police. For his personal despicable deeds with Proctor, to date Bukhenik has solely forfeited 5 trip days. Maybe taking part in the position of patsy this time round is a part of the deal for him to maintain his phony-baloney job.
Bukhenik’s difficulties with the English language could clarify not less than partially the State Police’s staggering incompetence. Do you bear in mind how within the first trial, one more low-IQ statie, one Joseph Paul, defined how he reached his deductions about who did what to whom.
“It was advised to me by the crime scene,” Paul testified, haltingly.
To which protection legal professional Alan Jackson incredulously responded, “The crime scene talked to you?”
“Sure.”
“Did the crime scene say the rest?”
Paul, slack-jawed, stupefied, stared again at Jackson.
“I don’t know what you need me to say.”
I point out this solely as a result of Yuriy had a really comparable expertise as Paul on the crime scene, or so he testified on Friday.
It’s all a part of what Jackson calls the “paranormal” goings on in Canton — inexplicable, not possible deletions of incriminating Google searches, eerie butt dials from cell telephones that aren’t in anyone’s possession, and so on.
On Friday, Bukhenik was attempting to elucidate, as soon as once more, “de proof.”
“I wasn’t assumin’ something,” he advised Jackson. “De proof was speakin’ to us.”
De proof was speakin’ to him? After all it was! It’s Norfolk County. If solely Jackson had requested Yuriy the apparent observe up query:
“Trooper, what language was the proof talking to you in at 34 Fairview? Your first, second, or third language?”
Perhaps when he goes to any future crime scenes, Bukhenik ought to take with him a translator app on his telephone. That means the app may convert the deductions of “de proof” into Ukrainian, or Russian, or each.
A translator app would additionally come in useful when he’s again on the MSP’s Rubber Ducky Element. He loves rushing round Norfolk County like Sheriff Buford T. Justice, leaping ugly with housewives who’ve had the temerity to depart a tiny rubber ducky on a public bench in Canton or posting Free Karen Learn messages on social media.
Yuriy will go full KGB or Stasi on some suburban mother, particularly when he’s packing a sidearm on his 50-inch waist. As soon as final summer season, he tracked down a girl who’d had the temerity to make a Fb remark concerning the Karen Learn trial.
“I used to be cooking a pork chop,” she later advised me, when Yuriy started banging on her entrance door. As she got here out of the kitchen, Bukhenik started channeling his interior Lavrentiy Beria, fantasizing himself a member of Stalin’s secret police as he gave her the third diploma.
The lady, who was born in America, not the USSR, was having none of Yuriy’s Warsaw Pact bullying. She chased the knuckle-dragging moron again to his taxpayer-funded cruiser, yelling phrases that maybe he couldn’t comprehend.
“You’re going to jail!” she screamed on the Slavic slob.
If solely he’d had that translation app on his cellular phone, perhaps Yuriy may have listened to her admonitions in phrases extra comprehensible for a native-born Communist:
“You’re going to the gulag!”
One closing caveat for Yuriy “Pink” Bukhenik:
Comrade, you’re a naturalized US citizen. You might be right here at our sufferance. If you happen to commit any one in all a sure variety of crimes (assume perjury), you will be stripped of your US citizenship and deported again to the Jap Entrance.
Do you perceive? Or as your countrymen would say: “Ty rozumiyesh?”
Think about that earlier than you’re tempted to, uh, embellish your sworn testimony on Monday. You understand, about points just like the inverted video on the Canton PD that you simply… misidentified… on the first trial.
Beware, Yuriy. You would find yourself in a trench on the entrance traces, cannon fodder for Zelensky.
Earlier than you communicate, heed these phrases, which I’m positive you’ll perceive higher if I put it in your native tongue:
“Ty mayesh parvo movchaty.”
You will have the suitable to stay silent…
Comply with Howie’s protection of the Karen Learn trial on WRKO AM 680 and the iHeart app, 2-6 weekdays.
