We spend a whole lot of time right here speaking about self-worth, confidence, reflection, and giving ourselves grace. About selecting alignment over strain and progress over perfection.
However right here’s the factor. That work doesn’t solely belong to the reader. It belongs to me, too.
Earlier than shifting into this subsequent season, I needed to decelerate, replicate, and apply the identical classes I share right here so usually. What follows is a private verify in, a second of readability, a mirrored image on what I’m carrying into the New 12 months, and a reminder that progress is one thing we observe collectively.
This yr didn’t finish quietly for me.
Between The Curvy Fashionista turning 17 and being acknowledged for work that began as a ardour challenge and grew into one thing a lot greater, I discovered myself reflecting in a method I had not earlier than. Not from strain. Not from urgency. From readability.
I’m not getting into the brand new yr attempting to reinvent myself or show something.
I’m getting into it extra grounded in who I’m, clearer about what I need, and extra intentional about what I carry with me and what I go away behind.
What 17 Years Taught Me About Development
Once I launched The Curvy Fashionista, I didn’t have a roadmap. I had conviction, curiosity, and a deep perception that plus measurement folks deserved extra illustration, extra entry, and extra respect.
Seventeen years later, that perception has not modified. What has modified is my understanding of progress.
Over time, I’ve realized that progress doesn’t at all times come from doing extra. Typically it comes from stopping lengthy sufficient to ask what really nonetheless matches. What nonetheless feels aligned. What now not serves the mission, the group, or my very own well-being.
The longer I do that work, the clearer it turns into that sustainability is constructed by way of reflection, not fixed growth. Pausing isn’t a setback. It’s usually how readability lastly exhibits up.
That pause is the place I’m proper now. Not caught. Not uncertain. Simply intentional.
Management analysis helps this! In line with Harvard Enterprise Assessment, leaders who make house for reflection are more practical and extra resilient over time.
Readability
I’m carrying a deeper readability than I’ve had in a very long time.
Readability about who I’m. About who I wish to be. About what now not matches. And about what I’m now not prepared to tolerate.
Popping out of what I can solely describe as my phoenix rising from the ashes period, I really feel extra grounded in myself than ever earlier than. The hearth burned away expectations that had been by no means mine, roles I had outgrown, and variations of myself that existed to outlive as a substitute of thrive.
Now that the ashes have settled and I’ve shaken off what now not belongs to me, I’ve a greater understanding of who I’m at my core. What I need. What I don’t need. What deserves my power and what doesn’t.
That private readability has reshaped how I lead, how I envision the way forward for TCF, and from that, the teachings and information that assist me to actually perceive what I’m and never carrying into the brand new yr.
An Abundance Mindset
I’m additionally carrying a really actual abundance mindset into this subsequent chapter, and I wish to be sincere about how that shift really occurred.
For a very long time, I moved like there was restricted house. Restricted alternatives. Restricted probabilities to get it proper. That shortage formed a whole lot of my earlier choices, even when I didn’t understand it on the time.
What helped shift that was gratitude journaling.
Working by way of The Magic by Rhonda Byrne and its guided gratitude practices pressured me to decelerate and actually dig in. Not surface-level affirmations, however sincere reflection. Writing issues out. Sitting with my ideas. Reframing what I assumed was lacking and noticing what was already working.
Once I began really working from a spot of gratitude, one thing clicked. My mindset shifted from shortage to chance.
Do you know that analysis from the Better Good Science Heart at UC Berkeley exhibits gratitude journaling can enhance emotional well-being, enhance optimism, and assist rewire how the mind processes stress and alternative?
That observe modified how I present up. It fully rewired my considering…
I now perceive that abundance isn’t about doing extra or saying sure to all the things. It’s about trusting that what is supposed for me doesn’t require exhaustion, overextension, or self-betrayal.
There’s room for a lot of voices within the plus measurement house. There’s room for collaboration. There’s room for shared success. And there may be room for alignment over urgency.
A Healed Spirit and Thoughts
I really feel extra grounded in myself now. Extra current. Extra sincere about what drains me and what fuels me.
A giant a part of that grounding has come from reconnecting with my religion and refocusing on what it actually means to belief God and Spirit, not simply when issues are clear, however when they’re nonetheless unfolding.
For a very long time, I confused relaxation with stopping and belief with dropping management. What I’m studying now’s that relaxation might be energetic and belief might be intentional.
Resting in Him has allowed me to launch the strain to have all the things discovered. To cease forcing outcomes. To cease carrying issues that had been by no means mine to handle alone.
One verse that has guided me by way of this season is Proverbs 3:5–6, which reminds us to “belief within the Lord with all our coronary heart and never lean on our personal understanding, and that once we acknowledge Him, He’ll direct our paths.”
That reminder has modified how I transfer, how I determine, and the way I relaxation.
Forgiving Myself
This season has additionally required me to forgive myself.
For the childhood wounds I didn’t have the language for again then.
For the errors I made whereas attempting to outlive, not figuring out what I didn’t know but.
For the occasions I didn’t have the precise instruments, the precise help, or the precise perspective to make higher choices.
For a very long time, I punished myself for these moments. I replayed them. Questioned them. Held onto guilt prefer it was proof that I cared sufficient or that I used to be holding myself accountable. I instructed myself that staying exhausting on myself was accountability, when in actuality, it was slowly making me sick.
What I’m studying now’s that progress doesn’t come from self-punishment. It comes from understanding.
Understanding that I did the most effective I may with the data, emotional capability, and assets I had on the time. Understanding that readability usually comes after expertise, not earlier than it. Understanding that disgrace doesn’t sharpen knowledge. It clouds it.
And since I’m a little bit of a nerd and needed to validate what I used to be feeling, I went in search of solutions.
What I realized helped me launch a whole lot of the guilt I had been carrying.
Analysis shared by the American Psychological Affiliation exhibits that power self-blame and unresolved guilt are linked to elevated stress, anxiousness, and even bodily well being points over time. On the flip facet, self-forgiveness is related to better emotional resilience and total well-being. In different phrases, holding onto guilt doesn’t make us stronger or extra accountable. It makes us drained, sick, and caught.
Forgiving myself has not meant excusing hurt or avoiding accountability. It has meant releasing the assumption that I need to endure endlessly for classes I’ve already realized.
It has meant selecting compassion over cruelty. Therapeutic over punishment. Development over guilt.
And actually, that forgiveness has been one of the crucial liberating elements of this complete course of.
Objectives That Really feel New, Thrilling, and Aligned
The targets I’m carrying into this subsequent chapter really feel totally different.
They don’t seem to be rooted in proving something. They’re rooted in function. They really feel expansive with out being overwhelming and thrilling with out being heavy.
I’m clear in regards to the form of affect I wish to make and the form of work I wish to pour my power into. Work that serves the plus measurement group thoughtfully. Work that builds legacy, not simply momentum.
If it doesn’t align with who I’m now, it doesn’t get my sure. And that readability feels highly effective.
What I’m Leaving Behind
I’m forsaking the assumption that I’ve to do all the things myself.
I’m forsaking urgency disguised as significance.
I’m forsaking the concept relaxation needs to be earned.
And pay attention, analysis backs this up. McKinsey exhibits that power urgency and burnout scale back creativity and long-term effectiveness.
That’s not how I wish to lead. And it isn’t how I need TCF to develop.
The place TCF Is Headed
With this readability, I really feel deeply aligned with the place TCF is headed subsequent.
We’re right here to raise plus measurement voices, create considerate and intentional content material, construct actual group, and advocate for higher entry and illustration.
This work has at all times been about greater than style. It has been about visibility, confidence, and displaying up totally on the earth.
That mission feels clearer than ever.
Shifting Ahead Collectively
As I step into the brand new yr, I’m not dashing the method.
I’m trusting what I do know now. Honoring what I’ve realized. Permitting progress to unfold with out forcing it.
If you’re in a season of readability, therapeutic, or redefining who you’re and what you need, know this.
You aren’t behind.
You’re turning into.
And there may be room for you right here.
A Query for You
As you step into the brand new yr, what are you carrying ahead and what are you able to let go of?
